第五章：和老爷子的对话

第二天早上，小嗝嗝看了一下床下面的那条龙。它仍在睡觉。
小嗝嗝的妈妈沃尔卡（Valhallarama）问他：“亲爱的，昨天的训练怎么样？”小嗝嗝说，“噢，挺好的，我给自己抓了一条龙，”“那挺好的啊，亲爱的，”沃尔卡高兴地说道。
沃尔卡（Valhallarama）史图依克从碗里抬起头来，在他继续往嘴里塞食物之前，叫道：“不错！不错！” 。
早饭后，小嗝嗝跟他外公一起坐在前台阶上，他的外公正在抽烟。 那是一个美丽、寒冷、清澈的冬日早晨，没有一丝风，四周的海水像玻璃一样平坦。
老爷子愉悦地吐着烟圈，看着太阳升起。 小嗝嗝打了个哆嗦，无聊地捡起石头扔进蕨菜丛里。 他们都很久没说过话了。
这时，小嗝嗝说，”我抓到那条龙。”
“我说过你会的，不是吗? ”老爷子回答道，他对自己非常满意，老爷子的年纪大的时候去占卜，其实多数事情都没占中。 占卜未来是件很复杂的事。 他特别高兴因为这次他占对了。

“你说的是非同寻常的事，”小嗝嗝抱怨道，“应该会一条真正不同寻常的龙。你还说，那是一条能让我在人群中脱颖而出的龙。”
“当然了，”老爷子同意道，“事实是不可否认的。”
“这条龙唯一不同寻常的地方，”小嗝嗝继续说道，“就是它不同寻常的小。所以它超级不同寻常。 这使我比以前更像是个笑柄。”
“哦，亲爱的，”老爷子对着烟斗咯咯地笑着说。
小嗝嗝责备地看着他，老爷子连忙把笑变成咳嗽。
“大小都是相对的，小嗝嗝，”老皱纹说， “与真正的海龙相比，所有的龙都是超级小的。 真正的海龙是这些小东西的五十倍大。 一条来自海底的真正海龙，可以在毫无察觉的情况下一口吞下十艘巨大海盗船。真正的海龙是残忍的、喜怒无常的，就像浩瀚的海洋一样，前一刻平静得像扇贝，下一刻就像大章鱼一样肆虐。”
“但是，在伯克岛这里，”小嗝嗝说，“我们都没有看见任何海龙，那就无从比较了，我的龙就是比别人的要小。 你别岔开话题。”

“我有（岔开话题）吗? ”老爷子问道。
“问题是，我都不觉得自己能成为一个英雄，”小嗝嗝沮丧地说。 ”我是整个毛霍里根部落里最没有英雄气概的人。”
”哦，天哪，这个可笑的部落，”老爷子有点愤怒地说，”好吧，你不是我们所说的那种天生英雄。 你不像鼻涕粗那么强壮，那么有魅力。 但是你必须努力。 你得好好学学怎么当英雄。
“不管怎样，”老爷子道，“领导风格的改变，可能正是这个部落所需要的。 因为，时代变了。 我们不能再像以前那样一定要比其他人更强大更暴力。 想象力，这就是他们所需要的，也是你所拥有的。 未来的英雄必须聪明狡猾，而不是一个肌肉过度发达的大块头。 未来的英雄必须要结束这里每个人之间的纷争，让他们一起面对敌人。”
”我怎么才能说服任何人做任何事呢? ” 小嗝嗝问。 ”他们都已经开始叫我小嗝嗝没用了（HICCUP THE USELESS）。 对于一个军事领袖来说，这可不是个好名字。”

“你必须看得远一点，小嗝嗝，”老爷子继续说， ”你被叫了几个名字无所谓。 你又不是天生的高手。 谁在乎呢？ 这些都是你人生路上的小事情。”
“你说得倒是轻松，” 小嗝嗝生气地说，“但是我有很多小问题。 我必须赶在周四雷神日之前，训练这条超小的龙，否则就永远被毛霍里根部落流放。”
“啊，没错，”老爷子若有所思地说。 ”好像有这么一本关于驯龙的书，不是吗？ 哦，我记起来了，那个傻瓜岛大学教授的那本书怎么样? ”
“他认为应该对那些龙大喊大叫，”小嗝嗝说着，又沮丧地扔起了石头。 “用你魅力十足的声音来让那些野兽知道你是它的主人。 而我的魅力就像一只搁浅的水母，大喊大叫也是我另一件最没用的本事。”
“也许......吧，”老爷子说，”但是你也得好好训练你的龙。 你很了解龙，不是吧，小嗝嗝？ 这些年来你一直在观察龙? ”
“这是个秘密，”小嗝嗝不安地说。

“我还见过你跟他们说话呢，”老爷子说。
“那不是真的，”小嗝嗝抗议道，他脸都红了。
“好啦，好啦，”老爷子安慰道，平静地抽着烟斗，“那不是真的。”
两人沉默了许久。
”那是真的，” 小嗝嗝承认，”看在雷神的份上，别告诉任何人，他们不会理解的。”
“和龙对话是一项非常不寻常的技能，”老爷子说。 “也许，”他说，“你可以通过跟它交谈来训练它，而不是对它大喊大叫。”
“真贴心，”小嗝嗝说，“真是个动人的想法。 然而，龙不是狗、猫或小马那样毛茸茸的动物。 龙不会因为你求它做它就会照你说的做。 据我对龙的了解，”小嗝嗝说，”我得承认对他们大吼大叫确实是个不错的方法。”
“但这方法也有局限，不是吗？” 老爷子指出。 ”我意思是，对比海狮还小的龙吼，确实是非常有效的。 但如果你试着对更大龙去吼的话，就说明你在找死。 你为什么不自己想一些其他的训练计划呢？ 你也许能在野蛮教授的书里加点什么。 其实我经常想，那本书需要一些额外的东西... 但我又想不到加点什么..”

”词语，” 小嗝嗝说，”那本书需要更多字。”
Chapter 5 A CHAT WITH OLD WRINKLY
The next morning, Hiccup checked the dragon under his bed. It was still asleep.
When his mother, Valhallarama, asked him at breakfast, "How did Initiation go yesterday, dear?" Hiccup said, "Oh, it was fine. I caught my dragon." "That's nice, dear," Valhallarama replied vaguely.
Stoick the Vast looked up briefly from his bowl and boomed, "EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT," before getting back to the important task of shoveling food into his mouth.

After breakfast, Hiccup went to sit on the front step beside his grandfather, who was smoking a pipe. It was a beautiful, cold, clear winter's morning, with not a breath of wind and the sea all around as flat as glass.
Old Wrinkly blew out smoke rings content-I edly as he watched the sun coming up. Hiccup shivered and chucked stones into the bracken. Neither of them spoke for a long time.

At last Hiccup said, "I got that dragon."
"I said you would, didn't I?" replied Old Wrinkly, very pleased with himself. Old Wrinkly had taken up soothsaying in his old age, mostly unsuccessfully. Looking into the future is a complicated business. So he was particularly pleased that he'd gotten this right.
"Something extraordinary, you said," complained Hiccup. "A truly unusual dragon, you said. An animal that would really make me stand out in the crowd."

"Absolutely," agreed Old Wrinkly. "The entrails were undeniable."
"The only extraordinary thing about this dragon," continued Hiccup, "is how extraordinarily SMALL it is. In that it is super-unusual. I'm even more of a laughingstock than ever."
"Oh, dear," said Old Wrinkly, chuckling in a wheezy way over his pipe.
Hiccup looked at him reproachfully. Old Wrinkly hurriedly turned the laugh into a cough.

"Size is all relative, Hiccup," said Old Wrinkly. "ALL of these dragons are super-small compared to a real Sea Dragon. A REAL Sea Dragon is fifty times as big as that little creature. A real Sea Dragon from the bottom of the ocean can swallow ten large Viking ships in one gulp and not even notice.
A real Sea Dragon is a cruel, careless mystery like the mighty ocean itself, one moment calm as a scallop, the next raging like an octopus."

"Well, here on Berk," said Hiccup, "where we haven't any Sea Dragons to compare anything with, my dragon is just considerably smaller than everybody else's. You are getting off the point."
"Am I?" asked Old Wrinkly.
"The point is, I just don't see how I am ever going to become a Hero," said Hiccup gloomily. "I am the least Heroic boy in the whole Hooligan Tribe."

"Oh.pshaw, this ridiculous Tribe," fumed Old Wrinkly. "Okay, so you are not what we call a born Hero. You're not big and tough and charismatic like Snotlout. But you're just going to have to work at it. You're going to have to learn how to be a Hero the Hard Way.
"Anyway," said Old Wrinkly, "it might be just what this Tribe needs, a change in leadership style. Because the thing is, times are changing. We can't get away with being bigger and more violent than everybody else any more. IMAGINATION. That's what they need and what you've got. A Hero of the Future is going to have to be clever and cunning, not just a big lump with overdeveloped muscles. He's going to have to stop everyone quarreling among themselves and get them to face the enemy together."

"How am I going to persuade anybody to do anything?" asked Hiccup. "They've started calling me HICCUP THE USELESS. That is not a great name for a Military Leader."
"You have to see the bigger picture, Hiccup," continued Old Wrinkly, ignoring him. "You're called a few names. You're not a natural at Bashyball. Who cares? These are very little problems in the grand scheme of things."

"It's all very well for you to say they are little problems," said Hiccup crossly, "but I have a LOT of little problems. I have to train this super-small dragon in time for Thor'sday Thursday or be thrown out of the Hairy Hooligan Tribe forever."
"Ah, yes," said Old Wrinkly, thoughtfully. "There's a book on this subject, isn't there? Remind me, how does the great Professor of Meathead University think you should train a dragon?"

"He thinks you should yell at it," said Hiccup, gloomily chucking stones again. "Show the beast who is Master by the sheer charismatic force of your personality that sort of thing. I have about as much charisma as a stranded jellyfish and yelling is just another thing I am useless at."
"Ye-e-es," said Old Wrinkly, "but maybe you'll have to train your dragon the Hard Way. You know a very great deal about dragons, don't you, Hiccup? All that dragon-watching you've been doing over the years?"

"That's a secret," said Hiccup, uncomfortably.
"I've seen you talking to them," said Old Wrinkly.
"That's NOT TRUE," protested Hiccup, going bright red in the face.
"Okay, then," soothed Old Wrinkly, calmly smoking his pipe, "it's not true."
There was silence for a bit.
"It is true," admitted Hiccup, "but for Thor's sake don't tell anybody, they wouldn't understand."

"Talking to dragons is a highly unusual skill," said Old Wrinkly. "Maybe," he said, "you can train a dragon better by talking to it than by yelling at it."
"That's sweet," said Hiccup, "and a very touching thought. However, a dragon is not a fluffy creature like a dog or a cat or a pony. A dragon is not going to do what you say just because you ask it pretty please. From what I know about dragons," said Hiccup, "I should say that yelling was a pretty good method."

"But it has its limitations, doesn't it?" Old Wrinkly pointed out. "I would say that yelling was highly effective on any dragon smaller than a sea lion. And positively suicidal if you try it on anything larger. Why don't you come up with some alternative training schemes yourself? You might be able to add something to Professor Yobbish's book. I've often thought that that book needs a little something extra ... I can't quite put my finger on it. . ."

"WORDS," said Hiccup. "That book needs a lot more words."