第十三章：宝藏

小嗝嗝胸部的擦伤实际上比他当时在恐惧中意识到的更严重。这会给他留下了一辈子的伤疤，能让他想起在骷髅岛度过的一个早晨。
他的右臂被Newtsbreath的爪子吊脱臼了。高伯帮他正骨(这是一个非常痛苦的过程，而且高伯也不是一个温柔的护士)，然后从他的衣服上扯下一块，给小嗝嗝脱臼的手系上吊带。
部落里的人们给自己几分钟的时间，互相拍拍背庆祝，然后抓起船桨。他们迫不及待地想要远远离开骷髅岛。直到他们看到了友好的伯克岛悬崖，他们才放心地放下船桨去察看他们的战利品，让“幸运13”在雾霭缭绕的平静海面上漂了一会儿。
当史图依克再次打开箱子时，那股气味几乎消失了。但在这些财宝下面，散落着一些黄绿色的水晶，似乎在微微冒烟，它们仍然散发着腐烂鸡蛋的臭味。这就是蓄须王设在箱子里的陷阱——一旦它们接触到空气，就会释放出弄醒骷髅龙的臭味。

对他的宝藏来说，这招防护措施非常有效而且致命。
那是多么珍贵的东西啊……艾尔文至少三分钟没有说过话了。他只是站在那里，瞪大眼睛，拿起一件又一件宝贝抚摸着，让自己的手在金币中欢畅地游走着。
“当然，十分之一的宝藏理应是属于你的，艾尔文，”史图依克大声说，他挺起了肚皮，为自己的慷慨感到自豪。
“你真是太~~~好了，最亲爱的史图依克，”在他回过神来时说。
“等等，等等，”吐痰鬼打断了他的话，“首先，我想让你承认这是鼻涕粗找到的宝藏。”
“我承认。”史图依克不情愿地说。
小嗝嗝知道他应该庆幸自己还活着，但他感到一种说不出的痛苦。他知道这一切意味着什么。小嗝嗝，尽管是酋长的儿子，但却不是毛霍里根部落的真正继承人。真正的继承人是鼻涕粗，他在任何方面都比小嗝嗝更大、更快、更聪明。

“其次，”吐痰鬼继续说，“作为宝藏的寻获者，理论上它是属于我儿子鼻涕粗的，我不知道鼻涕粗是否愿意把这些宝贝分给某个陌生人……”
“他肯定不会，”鼻涕粗咧嘴一笑。
史图依克砰的一声关上宝箱。他抓起吐痰鬼的衣服把他整个人提了起来，考虑到吐痰鬼有一头没怎么运动的虎鲸那么大，这真是相当了不起的壮举。
“我是这个部落的首领！”史图依克提高音量说，“是我发起这次寻找蓄须王宝藏的活动，这些宝藏属于我，并且只属于我！”
吐痰鬼给了史图依克的肾一拳，史图依克狠狠地把他放下来。他当着史图依克的面喊道：“很好，但也许你这个部落首领当太久了，我的老哥！也许这是神给的预兆，你该退休了，那个谜语是怎么说找到宝藏的继承人的？如果我的儿子是部落的继承人，那我就可以代替你做部落的首领！”

“不！”史图依克跺着脚喊道。
“我才是首领！”
“你才不是！”
“我是！”
他们紧紧抓住对方的肩膀，开始了一场对视比赛，头盔上的角紧紧地扣在一起，就像一对发情的公鹿。
“滚开。”史图依克平静而阴险地强调道。
“不，你滚开，”吐痰鬼回答。
“不，你滚。”
“你！”
“你！”
............
在这一切进行的同时，没人注意到艾尔文做了一件相当奇怪的事。
当“幸运13”航行到离伯克岛悬崖仅有一段可以轻松飞行的距离时，大部分的龙已经飞回村吃和睡了。留在“幸运13”仅有的一条龙是无牙。无牙是只懒惰的小动物，他认为这太远了，不想飞。在刚才的路上，他给自己抓了两条肥美的鲭鱼。所以他仍在甲板上，饶有兴趣地看着这场搏斗。

出于某种奇怪的原因，艾尔文拿起一个沉重的空桶，把它扣在那条兴奋的小龙身上，把他套在桶里。
然后他打断了史图依克和吐痰鬼之间的打斗。
“好了，好了，”艾尔文安慰地说，“贝壳里的小蛤蜊也认为，这应该是一个快乐的时刻，一个毛霍里根部落辉煌新时代的开始。有足够的财富给你们所有人。我提议为此次寻宝活动的胜利干杯。”
人们欢呼起来，庆祝度过这次难关，高伯和Hugefarts（大屁）把史图依克和吐痰鬼扯开，否则他们显然准备一整天都站在那里。其他战士为庆祝端上了黑加仑酒。
史图依克扔下暴风刃。他从宝箱里拿了几副别致的耳环来装饰自己。
“无论是傻瓜还是英雄。”他喊道。“有了这些宝贝，我们，一小队不可战胜的野蛮人，即将成为一个新帝国的中心，一个可以与罗马辉煌时期相匹敌的帝国！”史图依克举起他那杯黑加仑酒，他的眼睛闪闪发光，“毛霍里根部落就会变得无人......”

锤头号（The Hammerhead）
13. THE TREASURE
The graze on Hiccup's chest was actually deeper than he had realized in the terror of the moment. It would leave a scar that would stay with him for the rest of his life as a reminder of a morning spent on the Isle of the Skullions.
And his right arm was dislocated from the strain of hanging from the talons of Newtsbreath. Gobber put it back in its socket (a very painful process, as Gobber was not the most tender of nurses) and tore a strip off his shirt to make Hiccup a sling for it.

The Hooligans gave themselves a couple of minutes to pat each other on the back and celebrate, before grabbing the oars again. They were eager to leave the spooky Isle of the Skullions far, far behind them. It wasn't until they were within sight of the friendly cliffs of Berk that they felt safe enough to ship their oars, and let the Lucky Thirteen drift for a while in calm but misty seas while they investigated their prize.

When Stoick lifted the lid of the box again, the smell had nearly gone. But underneath the treasure there was a scattering of greenish-yellow crystals which appeared to be smoking slightly, and they still gave off that rotten-egg stench. These were J what Grimbeard had used to booby-trap the box -- as soon as they came into contact with the air they let off their smell, which then alerted the Skullions.

A very effective and deadly defense of his treasure.
And WHAT a treasure it was ... Alvin could not I speak for at least three minutes. He just stood there, eyes popping, picking up object after object and stroking it, letting his hands run lovingly through the coins.
"Of course, ten percent of this treasure shall ¡be yours, Alvin," boomed Stoick the Vast, sticking his belly out in pride at his own generosity.

"You are tooooo kind, dearest Stoick," murmured Alvin, when he could say anything at all.
"Hang on an oyster-catching minute," interrupted Baggybum the Beerbelly. "Firstly, I want it acknowledged that SNOTLOUT found this treasure."
"Acknowledged," said Stoick the Vast reluctantly.

Hiccup knew he should be thankful to be alive, but he was unspeakably miserable. He knew what all this was going to mean. Hiccup, although the son of the Chief, was not the True Heir to the Hairy Hooligans. The True Heir was Snotlout, who had always been bigger, faster and more brilliant than Hiccup at everything.

"Secondly," continued Baggybum, "as the FINDER OF THE TREASURE, technically it belongs to MY SON Snotlout, and I don't know whether Snotlout feels like giving away any of it to some stranger. ..."
"He definitely doesn't," grinned Snotlout.
Stoick the Vast banged shut the treasure chest. He lifted Baggybum the Beerbelly clear off the ground by the front of his shirt, which was quite some feat considering Baggybum the Beerbelly was about the size of a killer whale who hadn't had much exercise recently.

"I AM THE CHIEF OF THIS TRIBE!" roared Stoick the Vast. "I LAUNCHED THIS EXPEDITION TO FIND THE TREASURE OF GRIMBEARD THE GHASTLY AND THIS TREASURE BELONGS TO ME AND ME ALONE!"
Baggybum the Beerbelly gave Stoick a quick jab in the kidney, which made Stoick drop him, sharpish. He yelled right back in Stoick's face:

"WELL, MAYBE YOU'VE BEEN CHIEF OF THIS TRIBE A LITTLE TOO LONG, BIG BROTHER! MAYBE THIS IS A SIGN FROM THE GODS THAT IT'S TIME YOU RETIRED, WHAT DID THAT PROPHECY SAY ABOUT THE HEIR FINDING THE TREASURE? IF MY SON IS THE HEIR, MAYBE THAT JUST MAKES ME THE CHIEF OF THE TRIBE INSTEAD OF YOU!!!"

[Image: Men.]
"NO!" yelled Stoick, stamping his foot.
"I'M THE CHIEF!"
"ARE NOT!"
"AM TOO!"
They had grabbed each other by the shoulders and were carrying out a Staring Contest, the horns on their helmets locked together like a couple of rutting stags.

"Neff off," said Stoick, with quiet and sinister emphasis.
"No, YOU neff off," replied Baggybum.
"No, YOU neff off."
"YOU!"
"YOU!" etc. etc. etc.
While all this was going on, nobody noticed Alvin doing something rather strange.
When the Lucky Thirteen sailed into easy flying distance of the cliffs of Berk, most of the dragons had flown off back to the Hooligan Village, for food and rest. The only one who had remained on the Lucky Thirteen was Toothless. Toothless, who was a lazy little creature, considered this too far to fly. And he had caught himself a couple of nice plump mackerel on the way. So there he still was, on the deck, watching the fight with interest.

For some strange reason of his own, Alvin picked up a heavy empty barrel. He placed it over the excited little dragon, trapping him underneath.
He then interrupted the fight between Stoick and Baggybum.
"Now, now," said Alvin soothingly, "little clams in their shells agree. This should be a JOYFUL moment, the beginning of a glorious new era for the Hooligan Tribe. There is plenty of treasure for all of you. I propose a toast to celebrate the finding of the treasure."

The Hooligans cheered, hoping to get over a difficult moment. Gobber and Hugefarts pulled Stoick and Baggybum apart, because otherwise they were clearly prepared to stand there all day. Some of the other Hooligan Warriors handed out black-currant wine for the toast.
Stoick the Vast drew the Stormblade. He had already decked himself out in some fancy earrings from the treasure chest.

"Half-wits and HEROES," he shouted. "We, a small band of unbeatable barbarians, are about to become the center of a New Empire, an Empire to rival Rome in her glory days! With this treasure," Stoick lifted his cup of black-currant wine, his eyes glittering, "the Hairy Hooligans shall become INVINCI --"