第二章：“我们只想知道你是哪一边的？”

小嗝嗝惊呆了，看到那里的鼻涕粗，就像有人突然打了一下他的肚子。鼻涕粗是小嗝嗝的堂兄，自打小嗝嗝出生以来，他就一直是小嗝嗝的敌人。
当他们最后一次在战场上看到鼻涕粗的时候，鼻涕粗正在决定是投靠在他们这边，还是投靠在阿尔文和巫婆那边。那么他选择了哪一边呢？
卡米卡琪和鱼脚司似乎已经知道了这个问题的答案。
“我们回藏身处去吧。”卡米卡琪厌恶地小声说。
鱼脚司叹了口气。“恐怕我也同意回去。”
“等一下！”小嗝嗝低声说，“我们不能就这样回家，而把鼻涕粗留在这里！”
鱼脚司用空洞的眼睛看着小嗝嗝，他是一个长期以来一直在躲避龙族反叛军的人。
“小嗝嗝，”鱼脚司说，“我不认为那个鼻涕粗会选择龙印团这边的。他是个大话王、是个两面派、是个背信弃义的恶棍，我记不起来他背叛过你多少次了，而且几乎肯定的是，他是为阿尔文集团效力的。”
“人是会变的！”小嗝嗝说，他眼睛里充满了热情。“你必须相信他们，可能会改变！”

鱼脚司用手指数着。“让我们看看。在海上斗剑课中，他想杀了你。我们歇斯底里岛（Hysteria）的时候，他想杀了你。他在剑术学院扔的那块阴险恶毒之石暴露了你的一个奴隶印记……他一次又一次地背叛你。”
“这次会有所不同的，”小嗝嗝乐观地低声说，“这一次，我很肯定他变了……我确信这一点。”
“如果你想救鼻涕粗，”Wodensfang警告说，他看上去很紧张，“你会把我们都置于危险之中。如果善待鼻涕粗，你可能会危及那些对你忠诚的人和龙的性命，而那些龙和人都从未背叛过你。有时候善良会是残酷的。这些都是领导者必须做出的艰难决定。”
噢，谢谢你，Wodensfang。真有帮助啊。我之前可能提到过，就是：我们大多数人都很幸运，没有成为国王和英雄，因为我们不必做国王和英雄必须做的选择。
刀翼龙
统计数据
恐怖：......9分
攻击：......8分

速度：......8分
体型：......7分
违抗：......7分
这些是非常令人讨厌的龙，翅膀锋利得像剃刀一样，它们可以在瞬间将猎物斩首。刀翼龙可以把自己弄得像旋转的刀片一样平，而且，它们还装备微毒的飞镖。
飞猪龙（HogFlys）
统计数据
恐怖：......0分
攻击：......1分
速度：......2分
体型：......2分
违抗：......1分
飞猪龙非常温和，渴望取悦别人，然而他们是整个龙族世界中最愚蠢的龙种之一。不过，它们确实有着非凡的嗅觉，所以如果你能忽略它们极度的愚蠢，它们可以成为非常出色的追踪者或嗅龙。
冰筏被一只狼牙龙咬得嘎吱响。究竟是小嗝嗝的幻像，还是被淹没在岸边的龙听到冰的“呻吟声”也跟着动了起来？
就在这时，小嗝嗝注意到一条很小很丑的微型嗅龙正天真地睡在冰筏上的鼻涕粗和飓风龙旁边。它看起来像一只快乐的小猪。它被称为飞猪龙，飞猪龙是世界上最愚蠢、最善良的龙。

龙和人，九双眼睛，焦急地看着小嗝嗝。小嗝嗝爱他的朋友们。他有责任保护他们的安全。但他不能扔下一个人类同胞，让他在龙族反叛军的魔爪中遭受可怕的命运，即使是在他对立的一边，更别说还有一只伤痕累累的可怜骑龙和一条可爱的愚蠢小飞猪龙。
“我们去救他吧，”小嗝嗝小声说。“我们救他！”
“哦，天哪，”鱼脚司呻吟道。“我知道你是对的，但是，诶，天哪……”
“我们得试着从他上方进行营救，”小嗝嗝说，“我会让致命影龙直接飞到冰筏上面，然后卡米卡琪放下绳子让鼻涕粗爬上来。”
我想说，我完全不同意这个决定！“我想说，我完全不同意这个决定！”卡米卡琪恶狠狠地小声说。“这真是疯了！这是癫了！你现在真是无头无脑，小嗝嗝，你这个霍里根笨蛋……”她的情绪一下子变得莫名其妙，她拔出了剑。
“我最好下去那里，”她决定。
我最好下去没人能阻止她，卡米卡琪在致命影龙的鞍上系了一根绳子，然后慢慢下降，直到她像一只小黑蜘蛛一样在浮冰上空盘旋。

“这是计划的一部分吗？”鱼脚司问。
“老天爷，不……卡米卡琪！”小嗝嗝嘶嘶道。“回来！”
但是沼泽飞贼在想聋的时候也能聋得出奇。
“问问他是投靠哪一边的！”鱼脚司从上面提醒道。
卡米卡琪悬在致命影龙下方的绳索上，正好在鼻涕粗的头顶。她一只手抓住绳子，另一只手拉着弓，单手射中了一只狼牙龙（这是卡米卡琪比较炫耀的动作之一）。
“喂，”她高兴地对鼻涕粗说。小嗝嗝觉得我们应该帮助你，但鱼脚司想知道的是，你是投靠哪一边的？因为如果你是阿尔文那边的人，我就把你丢在这里……”
鼻涕粗正忙着击退狼牙龙，但当他听到不知从哪儿冒出来的声音时，他惊讶地扭过头来，发出小小的惊讶声。
卡米卡琪宽慰地向鼻涕粗微微挥了挥手，露出了大大的最灿烂的笑容。鼻涕粗瞪大眼睛看着她，因为她悬在半空中，一时间他以为自己撞鬼了。但接着，他用颤抖的手指着睡在河岸上的龙的可怕身影，他茫茫然地如释重负说：“帮帮我…但是要安静……”

卡米卡琪不管，她用最平常的声音说，“是的，你的要求很有意思，因为我们正在考虑是否要救你一命，”卡米卡齐在他上方悠悠闲地晃着身子解释道。
“看在雷神的份上，你这个小沼泽飞贼疯婆……那些都是龙族反叛军的龙……你没看到那些龙对这片森林做了什么吗？如果他们醒了他们就会呼唤恶龙Furious......”
卡米卡琪从绳索上落下来，像一只小猫一样落在冰筏上鼻涕粗旁边。
“你还没有回答问题。”卡米卡琪说，“你是哪一边的？”
正当鼻涕粗击退一只差点就爬上冰筏的龇牙咧嘴的狼牙龙时，他发出一种沮丧的、说不出话来的汩汩声。
“OK，”他恼火地说，“我是你们那边的！绝对是你们那边的！毫无疑问是你们那边的！我上这儿来找你们，好带你们去巫婆的阵地，这样你们就能找回其余的遗失之物……”
“他说他是我们这边的！”卡米卡琪大声喊道。“但我不会再相信他了。”
“我告诉过你！”小嗝嗝在上面低声说。“要小声一点，卡米卡琪......”

“你真的确定我们要救他吗？”卡米卡齐期待地问道。“他真的不太好。”
“你就不能小声点吗，你这讨厌的小飞贼……”鼻涕粗嘶嘶道。“Uh-oh...”
“Uh-oh…”小嗝嗝说。
“Uh-oh？”鱼脚司呻吟着，惊恐地用双手捂住了脸。“什么意思，Uh-oh？UH-OH从来都不是好事。求你收回那句Uh-oh吧，给我一声真诚的、宽慰的欢呼。我不敢问了，不过，怎么了？”
“飞猪龙，”小嗝嗝解释道。“我想那条飞猪龙要醒了……”
“呃，那有什么问题吗？”鱼脚司小声回应道。“飞猪龙不危险。”
那条飞猪龙醒来时打了个快乐的喷嚏。太迟了。
那条飞猪龙醒来时打了三个湿漉漉的口水四溅的喷嚏。它从沉睡的飓风龙肚子里跳起来，伸出翅膀，飞在空中，像一只粉红色的大黄蜂一样嗡嗡叫着，它那卷曲的粉红尾巴使劲地摇摆着，那条龙左右张望了一下。
“汪！汪！汪！”那条快乐的飞猪龙吠叫道。

那条飞猪龙蠢到以为自己是条狗。
汪！汪！听到这最后一声欢快的小吠声，整个河堤上龙族反叛军的龙都挺起来了？
“飞猪！”小嗝嗝对着下面的飞猪龙说道。
“哇呼！”飞猪龙回应道，挥舞着一只鲜艳的粉红色蹄子。
“我看..看...看到你了！你好奶奶！牙刷在哪？”
它来回嗡嗡叫着，鼻子上下嗅着。
这一次，河堤上龙族反叛军的龙明显抖动了一下，四肢在移动，眼睛快要张开了。
“噢！！！”飞猪龙唱道，它认出了小嗝嗝的气味，小鼻子兴奋地颤抖着。“我认识那种气味！我正找你呢！我在追踪你呢！”飞猪龙大声喊道，让小嗝嗝焦虑的耳朵惊讶的是，那叫声跟他老师——打嗝高伯——在做Bashyball比赛裁判时柔情的叫喊一样平静而柔和，或是，像一只发情的巨型沼泽海象（Giant Walrus-bog）向另一只有着相思病的沼泽海象在一两块浮冰间呼唤一样。
“我在和那个大鼻子人类玩游戏，我一直在找你，一路追踪你到河的上游！你看，大鼻子人类！”飞猪龙得意地对鼻涕粗唱着，用它的四只蹄子指着小嗝嗝。“我找到他了！我找到他了！我哪儿都能闻到那种气味！”

“你就不能让那东西闭嘴吗？”鼻涕粗嘶嘶地说，恐惧得瞪大了眼睛。
“飞猪龙！”小嗝嗝在致命影龙的背上低声说。“干得好，你真聪明，但我们现在要玩一种不同的游戏……一种非常不同的游戏……这种新的游戏是‘尽可能安静’游戏……这很有趣的，你愿意跟我们一起玩吗？”
“哦，我要玩！”飞猪龙尖声说。“让我玩！看我玩！”
“尽可能安静……尽可能安静……”小嗝嗝提醒道，他把一根手指放在嘴边。“嘘~~~…”
飞猪龙拼命集中注意力，夹紧它的小嘴，屏住呼吸，变成了紫色，直到它膨胀到几乎三倍大，然后突然噗的一声放气了！
然后又惊讶地睁开了眼睛。
“对不起啦……今天是你的生日吗？我赢了！”飞猪龙尖声叫道。
“是，是，是，是……”小嗝嗝低声说着，紧张地看着河边。“但要记住，尽量安静...尽量安静……”
“尽量安静......”飞猪龙好脾气地重复道。“嘿嘿嘿......这真是个有趣的游戏。”

它又拼命地集中注意力，屏住呼吸，悬停在空中，膨胀了两三次。小嗝嗝在致命影龙的背上弯下腰，试图抓住它，因为它悬空在他伸手可及的范围内，但就在他想抓住它的时候……
砰！
那只飞猪龙又泄气了，嗖嗖地飞离了小嗝嗝伸出的胳膊，在空中打转，咯咯地尖叫着。
“对不起啦！你爸怎么样！我赢了！我赢了！我赢了！”
讨厌的龙族反叛军的龙在睡梦中躁动不安。
那条飞猪龙天真地飞到一群可怕的龙面前：一条长着巨大多毛的舌头的扭舌龙，一条把“砍刀”固定在一只可怜的死獾头顶的砍头龙，还有一只在浅滩睡觉的邪恶刀翼龙，就像一只潜伏在那里的迅猛龙，它的身体沉在水下，但它锋利的翅膀在浅滩上掠过。
飞猪龙高兴地咯咯笑着，无视小嗝嗝那被掐住喉咙似的呼喊：“飞猪龙，回来这里，飞猪龙！”
“噢！”它又高兴又困惑地尖叫道，“你们看起来真可爱！我该如何选择你们中的一个做我的朋友呢？”

噢...你们看起来真可爱...它落在刀翼龙猛然凸起的鼻子上。
“我的饼干在哪里？你结婚了吗？做我的情人吧……”
“我看不下去了……”鱼脚司抱怨道，这就像看到一只热情的兔子试图和一条全副武装、吃兔子的眼镜蛇交朋友。
刀翼龙没有睁开眼睛。
但慢慢地、慢慢地、慢慢地，它的下巴裂开了一道很小很小的裂缝。
从它那锯齿状弯曲的嘴里，发出一种可怕的、尖厉的、嘶哑的声音，就像从口技表演者的木偶里发出的声音一样，非常、非常轻柔地说着：
用人类的鲜血染红你的爪子......
清除人类的污垢......“哦，这是首好歌，”飞猪龙说，它一直很有礼貌，但突然有点紧张和困惑，因为红怒的歌根本就不是一首好歌。
把人类像木头一样烧掉......在河堤上，其他龙族反叛军的龙没有睁开眼睛，而是张大了嘴巴，它们用同样沙哑的声音加入了这机器般令人作呕的吟唱。

“哦，兄弟……哦，兄弟……”鱼脚司低声说，“又来了......肯定会很糟的......”
龙们又开始吟唱，这次声音更大了。
然后......
啪！
刀翼龙的眼皮啪地一声睁开了，它的眼球若有所思地盯着飞猪龙，就像大白鲨的注视一样亲切而合理。
扭舌龙同时睁开了眼睛，把它那长长的、厚得令人厌恶的、毛茸茸的舌头伸向飞猪龙那疯狂拍打到模糊不清的翅膀，希望能把其中的一只扭下来。很抱歉，但那是真的。
慢慢地，慢慢地，刀翼龙的巨颚张开到最大程度，露出两只小小的毒镖，像邪恶的小虫一样潜伏在它喉咙后面的喷火洞里。
这一次，当唱到“把人类像木头一样烧掉”的那部分时，那条可怜的愚蠢小飞猪龙终于意识到发生了什么。这些龙一点也不可爱，也不友善。事实上，情况正好相反。
他那善意的迷惑的表情立刻变成了荒谬的惊慌。它那快活的小尾巴耷拉着，沮丧地后退去，呜咽着说：“对不起，舅舅……出口在哪儿？有人打喷嚏吗？咬到子弹了吗！弃船！”

小嗝嗝悄无声息地趴在那条致命影龙的背上，从空中抓起飞猪龙，把它放进背包里，立刻又腾飞而上。
在这千钧一发之际，ZING！ZING！
刀翼龙从喉咙里迅速喷出的电黄墨黑的小飞镖在他们头顶呼啸而过。
那时唯一的好事就是狼牙龙不再攻击冰筏了。在龙族反叛军有点醒来的迹象时，那些在河里面的，鼻子还在冰筏旁边的狼牙龙沉入到水里去像鱼一样分散开，散回到它们那已经被损毁的森林中去。他们一看到就知道有麻烦了。
看到狼牙龙消失，鼻涕粗并不感激。但话又说回来，感激从来都不是鼻涕粗的强项。
“你们在干什么，你们这群愚蠢的水母脑袋白痴？这就是你们救人的计划吗？你们唤醒的龙族反叛军的龙！”他恐惧着不敢相信地嘶嘶说。“他们要去叫醒恶龙Furious了！”
情况正以可怕的势头失去控制。
在河边，龙们从他们冰冷的熟睡中苏醒过来，变得野性、疯狂起来。当载着鼻涕粗、卡米卡琪和熟睡中的飓风龙的小冰筏向下游疾驰时，年轻的维京人们听到了龙族叛乱的可怕吟诵。他们的战歌那令人痛苦的音调和音量本身成了一种攻击形式。龙的叫声大到让耳朵疼痛。

“激流……”小嗝嗝惊恐地喘着气说，俯视着翻腾的泡沫水，还有鼻涕粗和卡米卡琪前面尖利的、狰狞的岩石，它们像魔鬼的门牙一样向上凸起。
更糟糕的是，远处传来一阵低沉的轰鸣声，在寂静的夜空中听得清清楚楚。那是什么声音，那像雷暴雨前发出的隆隆警告声？
噢，雷神在上。
小嗝嗝突然想起，当这条特别的河流进入海洋时，它会从悬崖上下落，形成一个巨大的瀑布，那是群岛中最大的瀑布。
“瀑布！”小嗝嗝喊道，现在没必要再保持安静了。
“在你跌下瀑布之前，你必须离开冰筏！”
2. ‘WE WERE JUST WONDERING WHOSE SIDE YOU ARE ON?’ 
Hiccup was as shocked to see Snotlout there as if someone had hit him suddenly in the stomach. Snotlout was Hiccup’s cousin, and he had been Hiccup’s enemy ever since Hiccup had been born. 

When they last saw Snotlout on the battlefield back in the Amber Slavelands, Snotlout was trying to decide whether to be on on their side, or the side of Alvin and the witch. So which side had he chosen? 
It appeared that Camicazi and Fishlegs thought they knew the answer to that question already. 
‘Let’s get back to the hideout,’ whispered Camicazi in disgust. 
Fishlegs sighed. ‘I’m afraid I agree.’ 

‘Hang on a second!’ whispered Hiccup. ‘We can’t just GO HOME and leave Snotlout here!’ 
Fishlegs looked at Hiccup with the hollow eyes of someone who has been on the run from the Dragon Rebellion for too long. 
‘Hiccup,’ said Fishlegs, ‘I don’t think that Snotlout will have chosen to be on the Dragonmarker side. He is a lying, two-faced, treacherous villain who has betrayed you more times than I can remember, and he is almost certainly working for the Alvinsmen.’ 

‘People can change!’ said Hiccup, his eyes lit up with enthusiasm. ‘You have to believe in people and then maybe they can change!’ 
Fishlegs kept count on his fingers. ‘Let’s see. He tried to kill you back in that Swordfighting at Sea lesson. He tried to kill you when we were on Hysteria that time. He threw the stone that revealed you had the Slavemark back in the School of Swordfighting… He just keeps betraying you again and again.’ 

‘This time it’s going to be different,’ whispered Hiccup optimistically. ‘This time I’m sure he’s changed… I’m convinced of it.’ 
‘If you try and save Snotlout,’ warned the Wodensfang, looking very nervous, ‘you will put us all in peril. By being kind to Snotlout, you may be endangering the lives of those who are loyal to you, who have never betrayed you. Sometimes kindness can be cruelty. These are the kind of difficult decisions that a Leader has to make.’ 

Oh, thank you Wodensfang. Very helpful. I may have mentioned this before, but: Most of us are lucky not to be Kings and Heroes, because we do not have to make the choices that Kings and Heroes have to make.
The ice-raft creaked as one of the Wolf-fangs tipped it. Was it Hiccup’s imagination, or did the dragons submerged along the edges of the riverbanks move too, at the sound of that groaning ice? 

At that moment, Hiccup noticed a very small, very ugly, miniature scent-dragon sleeping innocently beside Snotlout and the Hurricane on the ice. It looked like a happy little pig. It was called a Hogfly, and Hogflys are the stupidest, most good-natured dragons in the entire world. 
Nine pairs of eyes, dragon and human, looked at Hiccup anxiously. Hiccup loved his friends. It was his responsibility to keep them safe. But he couldn’t leave a fellow human being, even if he was on the other side, let alone a poor scarred riding-dragon and a sweet, stupid little Hogfly, to a horrible fate at the talons of the dragons of the Dragon Rebellion. ‘Let’s save him,’ whispered Hiccup. 

‘Let’s save him!’ ‘Oh brother,’ moaned Fishlegs. ‘I know you’re right, but oh brother…’ 
‘We’ll have to try and rescue him from above,’ said Hiccup. ‘I’ll get the Deadly Shadow flying directly above the ice-raft, and then Camicazi can let down a rope for Snotlout to climb up.’
‘Let me just say that I completely disagree with this decision!’ whispered Camicazi fiercely. ‘This is MADNESS! This is CRAZY! You’ve really lost the plot now, Hiccup, you Hooligan half-wit…’ In one of her instant, bewildering turns of mood, she drew her sword. 

‘I’d better go down there,’ she resolved.
Before anyone could stop her, Camicazi tied a rope to the Deadly Shadow’s saddle and lowered herself until she was hovering above the ice-island like a little black spider. 
‘Was that part of the plan?’ Fishlegs asked. 
‘Suffering scallops, no… Camicazi!’ Hiccup hissed. ‘Get back up here!’ 
But Bog-Burglars can be surprisingly deaf when they want to be. 

‘Ask him whose side he’s on!’ Fishlegs whispered down helpfully from above. 
Camicazi dangled from the rope below the Deadly Shadow dragon just above Snotlout’s head. Holding on to the rope with one hand and stringing her bow with the other, she shot a Wolf-fang one-handed (one of Camicazi’s more show-offy moves). 
‘Hello there,’ she said cheerily to Snotlout. ‘Hiccup thinks we should help you, but what Fishlegs want to know is, whose side are you on? Because if you’re on the side of the Alvinsmen, I just want to leave you to it…’ 

Snotlout was busy fighting off the Wolf-fangs, but he whipped round his head in amazement as he heard this voice coming out of nowhere, and let out a small, surprised noise of astonishment.
Camicazi gave Snotlout a little, soothing wave, and her biggest, brightest smile. Snotlout goggled at her, for she appeared to be dangling in mid-air, and for a second he thought he was seeing things. But then, pointing a shaking finger at the terrifying sight of the dragons sleeping in the riverbanks, he mouthed with dazed relief: ‘HELP ME… but be quiet…

’ 
Camicazi ignored this, talking in her perfectly normal voice. ‘Yes, that’s interesting you should ask that, because we were just wondering whether to help you or not,’ explained Camicazi, swaying chattily above him.
‘For Thor’s sake, you little Bog-Burglar madwoman… those are Dragon Rebellion dragons... Have you seen what those dragons have done to this forest? And if they wake up they could call the Dragon Furious…’ 

Camicazi dropped down from the rope and landed like a little cat on the ice-raft beside Snotlout. 
‘You haven’t answered the question,’ said Camicazi. ‘Whose side are you on?’
Snotlout made a frustrated inarticulate gurgling noise, as he bashed away at the paw of a grinning Wolf-fang who had nearly made it on to the raft. 
‘OK,’ he rasped, ‘I’m on YOUR side! Most definitely on YOUR side! Indisputably on YOUR side! I came up here to find you so I could take you to the witch’s camp so that you can find the rest of the Lost Things…’ 

‘He says he’s on OUR side!’ Camicazi shouted up. ‘But I wouldn’t trust him further than I could throw him.’ 
‘I told you!’ whispered Hiccup from above. ‘But keep it down a bit, Camicazi…’ 
‘Are you quite sure that we should save him?’ said Camicazi wistfully. ‘He really is not very nice.’ 
‘Can’t you speak quietly, you horrible little Bog-Burglar…’ hissed Snotlout. ‘Uh-oh…’ ‘Uh-oh…’ said Hiccup. 

‘Uh-oh?’ groaned Fishlegs, who had covered his face with his hands in his horror. ‘What do you mean, uh-oh? UH-OH is never good. Please take back that uh-oh, and give me, instead, a hearty, relieved hoorah. I hardly dare ask, but what’s wrong?’ 
‘The Hogfly,’ Hiccup explained. ‘I think the Hogfly is waking up…’ 
‘Well, what’s wrong with that?’ Fishlegs whispered back. ‘Hogflys aren’t dangerous.’

Too late. 
The Hogfly woke up with three wet, splashing sneezes. It bounced up from the stomach of the sleeping Hurricane and shot out its wings so it hung in the air, buzzing like a fat pink bumblebee, its curly pink tail wagging vigorously as it looked to the left and right. 
‘Woof! Woof! WOOF!’ barked the happy Hogfly. 
The Hogfly was so stupid it thought it was a dog. 
Was there a stiffening of the Dragon Rebellion dragons all along the riverbank at the sound of that last, jolly little bark? 

‘Hogfly!’ Hiccup whispered down to the Hogfly. 
‘Yoo-hoo!’ the Hogfly called back, waving an exuberant pink trotter. 
‘I can se-e-e-e-ee you! Hello Grandma! Where’s the toothbrush?’ 
It buzzed back and forth, its snout snuffling up and down. And this time there was a definite quiver from the Dragon Rebellion dragons all along the riverbank, limbs moving, eyes on the edge of opening. 

‘OOOOOh!’ sang the Hogfly, its little snout trembling in excitement as it recognised Hiccup’s scent. ‘I KNOW THAT SMELL! I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU! I WAS TRACKING YOU!’ shouted the Hogfly, and to Hiccup’s anxious ears, that shout was about as quiet and peaceful as the honking bellow of his old teacher, Gobber the Belch, umpiring a Bashyball game, or the love-call of a Giant Walrus-bog calling out to another love-sick Walrus-bog across a mile or two of ice floes. 

‘Me and the Human-with-the-Big-Nose were playing a game and I was looking for you, tracking you all the way up the river! Look, Human-with-the-Big-Nose!’ sang the Hogfly triumphantly to Snotlout, pointing at Hiccup with all four of its trotters. ‘I’VE FOUND HIM! I’VE FOUND HIM! I’D KNOW THAT SMELL ANYWHERE!’ 
‘Can’t you shut that thing up?’ hissed Snotlout, bug-eyed with terror. 
‘Hogfly!’ Hiccup whispered down from the Deadly Shadow’s back. ‘Well done, clever you, but we’re playing a DIFFERENT game now… a very DIFFERENT game… The new game is the “Being-as-Quiet-as-Possible” game… It’s a really fun one. Will you play with us?’ 

‘OOoh, I’ll play!’ squeaked the Hogfly. ‘Let ME play! Look at me playing!’ 
‘Quiet as possible… quiet as possible…’ reminded Hiccup, putting a finger up to his mouth. ‘Ssshhhh…’ 
The Hogfly concentrated very hard, clamped its little mouth shut and held its breath, turning purple until it had swelled to almost three times the size, before deflating suddenly with a loud POP! 
And opening its eyes again in surprise.

‘Pardon me… Is it your birthday? I WON!’ squealed the Hogfly. 
‘Yes yes yes yes yes…’ whispered Hiccup, looking nervously at the edge of the river. ‘But remember, quiet as possible… quiet as possible…’ ‘Quiet as possible…’ repeated the Hogfly good-naturedly. ‘Tee hee hee… this is a very funny game.’ 
It concentrated very hard again, holding its breath, and hovering in the air, and swelling, two, three times. Hiccup bent down from the back of the Deadly Shadow, and tried to catch it, for it was floating within arm’s reach, but just as he made a grab for it… 

POP! 
The Hogfly deflated again, zooming out of the reach of Hiccup’s outstretched arm, and tumbling around in circles in the air, shrieking with giggles. 
‘PARDON ME! How’s your father! I WON! I WON! I WON!’ 
The revolting Dragon Rebellion dragons were moving restlessly in their sleep. 
The Hogfly fluttered innocently up to one grisly little group: a Tonguetwister with its giant hairy tongue hanging out, a Brainpicker with its ‘pick’ fixed into the head of a poor dead badger and a Razorwing sleeping low and evil in the shallows like a lurking velociraptor, its body submerged but its razorsharp wings skimming the shallows. 

Happy and giggly and bustly, the Hogfly ignored Hiccup’s strangled cries of: ‘Hogfly! Come back here, Hogfly!’ ‘Ooh!’ it squeaked in delighted confusion, ‘you all look so lovely! How am I to choose which one of you to be my friend?’ 
It perched on the sinister swoop of the Razorwing’s nose. 
‘Where’s my biscuit? Are you married? Be my valentine… ’ 
‘I can’t bear to watch…’ groaned Fishlegs, It was like seeing an enthusiastic bunny rabbit trying to make friends with a heavily armed, bunny-eating cobra.

The Razorwing did not open its eyes. 
But slowly, slowly, slowly, its jaws opened a tiny, tiny crack. And out of the jagged crook of its mouth, like the noise from a ventriloquist’s dummy, came a horrible, screechy little croaking voice, speaking very, very softly: 
‘Ooh that’s a nice song,’ said the Hogfly, ever polite, but suddenly a little nervous and confused, for the song of the Red-Rage is not a nice song at all.

And all around the riverbanks, the other Dragon Rebellion dragons did not open their eyes but their mouths, and in similar croaky voices they joined in this disgusting robotic chant.
‘Oh brother… oh brother…’ whispered Fishlegs. ‘Here we go… this is going to be bad…’ 
The dragons began the chant again, louder this time. And… 
SNAP! 
The eyelid of the Razorwing snapped open, and the eyeball of the Razorwing fixed on the Hogfly with a thoughtful gaze just about as kindly and as reasonable as the stare of a great white shark.

The Tonguetwister dragon opened its eyes simultaneously, and stretched out its long, repulsively thick and hairy tongue towards the Hogfly’s frantically blurring wings, hoping to twist one of them off. I am Sorry, but it’s true. 
Slowly, slowly, the cavernous jaws of the Razorwing opened to their widest extent, to reveal two little poison darts lurking like little evil gnats in the fire-holes at the back of its throat. 

This time, when the chant got to the part about ‘torching the humans like a wood’, the poor stupid little Hogfly finally realised what was happening. These dragons were not friendly or nice dragons at all. In fact they were quite the opposite.
His expression of good-natured bewilderment turned instantly to absurd alarm. His jaunty little tail uncurled in drooping dismay as he backed away, whimpering, ‘Sorry, uncle… Where’s the exit? Did someone sneeze? Bite the bullet! ABANDON SHIP!’

Swooping down invisibly on the back of the Deadly Shadow, Hiccup snatched the Hogfly out of the air, put him in his backpack and soared upwards again immediately. 
In the absolute nick of time, for: ZING! ZING! 
Little electric-yellow and ink-black darts whizzed over their heads as the Razorwing exhaled swiftly from his fire-holes.
The only good thing that happened then, was that the Wolf-fangs stopped attacking the ice-raft. At the first sign that the Rebellion had woken up, the Wolf-fangs sprinted away and melted back into the darkness of the mutilated forest, while the ones that were in the river, with their snouts over the edge of the raft, sank back down into the water and scattered like fish. They knew trouble when they saw it. 

Snotlout was not grateful to see the Wolf-fangs disappearing. But then again, gratitude had never been Snotlout’s strong point. 
‘What are you doing, you jellyfish-brained IDIOTS? Is this your idea of rescuing someone? You’ve woken up the Dragon Rebellion dragons!’ he hissed in horrified disbelief. ‘And they’re going to fetch the Dragon Furious!’ 
The situation spiralled out of control with terrifying rapidity. 

The dragons came out of their frozen sleeping stillness at the edges of the river into wild, frenzied life. The hideous chant of the Dragon Rebellion exploded around the young Vikings as the little ice-raft holding Snotlout, Camicazi and the sleeping Hurricane dragon sped downstream. The excruciating pitch and loudness of their battle hymn became in itself, a form of attack. Screeching like harpies, the dragons screamed at decibel levels that were painful to the ears. 

‘Rapids…’ breathed Hiccup in horror, looking down at the churning, foaming water, and the sharp evil-looking rocks ahead of Snotlout and Camicazi pointing upwards like devil’s incisors. 
And even worse, there was a distant booming, roaring sound, clearly audible in the still night air. What was that noise, that warning rumble like the beginning of a thunderstorm? 
Oh, for Thor’s sake. 

Hiccup suddenly remembered that when this particular river got to the ocean, it fell off the cliff in a gigantic waterfall that was the largest in the Archipelago. 
‘The waterfall!’ yelled Hiccup, because there was no point trying to be quiet now. 
‘YOU HAVE TO GET OFF THAT ICE-RAFT BEFORE YOU HIT THE WATERFALL!’