3-第十六章：巧妙却又绝望的计划

卡米卡琪在周六土星日前一天被送回到原来的牢房。
卡米卡琪不像往常那样高兴了，她在牢房里垂头丧气地叹着气。连鱼脚司都很担心。卡米卡琪走了过来，坐在铁栅栏旁的小嗝嗝的旁边。
“也许，”她伤心地说，“沼泽飞贼是能被关起来的。我不明白。我是逃跑大师——没有监狱能关得住我……”
“罗马人造的监狱挺不错的。”小嗝嗝回答。
“唯有死了的罗马人才是好的罗马人，”卡米卡琪说。
小嗝嗝叹了口气。“这不对。我相信还是有很多善良罗马人的。但所有的好罗马人可能都在罗马静静地过自己的生活。还有，阿尔文不是罗马人，他和我们一样是维京人。”
“要知道，小嗝嗝，你父亲真的不会打算派战队来的。”卡米卡琪温和地说。
小嗝嗝望着窗外。卡米卡琪是对的。他父亲不会来的。也许他觉得小嗝嗝不值得去救……
“好吧。”小嗝嗝说，努力不让他们两个失望。“我想是时候制定另一个计划了。”
“我知道我们该做什么了！”卡米卡琪喊着，又用她那老一套的神气拔出了剑。“我们练习斗剑！没错，我们都会死的——但会死得很有格调！”

“不，”小嗝嗝说。
“但你是个了不起的剑士——当然，对一个男孩来说……”卡米卡琪失望地说。
“我只在必要的时候才会用剑。”小嗝嗝说，“计划是这样的。有一条龙叫齐格瓦斯蒂卡，它欠我一个人情……”
“哦吼吼，齐格瓦斯蒂卡——听起来很可怕。”卡米卡琪说。“你觉得它能帮我们吗？”
“我不知道，”小嗝嗝承认。
小嗝嗝觉得对着一只不在房间里的龙大喊有点傻，但他还是这么做了，他用最大的声音大喊了三次【齐格瓦斯蒂卡！】
“我们出不去，这条龙怎么能进来呢？”卡米卡琪问道。“看着吧。”小嗝嗝说。三个小时过了，什么也没发生。小嗝嗝其实并不指望这个计划会奏效，他只是发自内心地想让卡米卡琪高兴起来。但突然传来一阵轻微的沙沙声，黑红两色的小龙从双栏杆里挤了进来，在房间里扑腾着。
“别告诉我，”卡米卡琪说，“拜托别告诉我，是这条龙欠了你的人情……”
“就是它，”小嗝嗝惊讶地说。“这绝对是它。居然真的被我叫来了！”

“这条龙，”鱼脚司说，“比无牙还要小——真是能帮得上忙，可不是嘛？你会觉得整个罗马军队会看到一只大黄蜂大小的龙时吓得发抖。一只比甲虫大不了多少的龙怎么帮助我们对付整个罗马军团？”
“你还指望有什么？”小嗝嗝问。“海龙巨无霸？等等，无牙…你在干什么？”
无牙在追齐格瓦斯蒂卡，就像猫追老鼠。
【无牙，住手！】小嗝嗝叫道。【别把它吃了，它是我们活着离开这里的唯一机会！】
但是无牙已经有好几个星期没有享受过狩猎的乐趣了。它绕着房间追着尖叫的齐格瓦斯蒂卡，直到最后把它困在天花板的一个角落里，并用嘴咬住它。
无牙在小嗝嗝刚好抓不着它的空中盘旋，无牙一边面颊鼓起，齐格瓦斯蒂卡的尾巴从无牙嘴里耷拉出来愤怒地摆动着。
【把它吐出来！】小嗝嗝大叫着，疯狂地跳起来，试图抓住无牙的尾巴。【我是认真的，无牙，这不是开玩笑——我们的小命就靠那条微型龙了！】
无牙恶狠狠地瞪了他一眼，然后躲到房间的另一个角落。

其他人也加入了追逐的行列，无牙高兴地尖叫着从天花板的一边飞到另一边，三个人在后面跳着。
卡米卡琪爬上鱼脚司的肩膀，小嗝嗝站在椅子上，试图用扫帚把无牙扫向她的方向。
不幸的是，小嗝嗝没打中，扫帚撞到了卡米卡琪和鱼脚司，他们撞倒了小嗝嗝站着的椅子，全部人都瘫倒在地板上。
“好吧，”小嗝嗝低声对另外两个人说，“我有个新战术……
“我们没时间去玩这场闹剧了，”小嗝嗝大声说。“别理无牙，大家都围过来，我要告诉你们我的计划……”
“哦，我明白了，”鱼脚司说。
鱼脚司和卡米卡琪围在小嗝嗝身边，开始窃窃私语。
无牙还在天花板上，轻蔑地吐着舌头。
没人理它。
最终，无牙的好奇心占了上风，它扑扇着翅膀下来，想看看自己能否听到些什么——卡米卡琪从中跳了出来，抓住了它。
“哈！”小嗝嗝得意地说，严厉地盯着挣扎着的小龙。“好了，无牙，把它放了。”
无牙微微眯上眼，喉咙发出一种吞咽的声音，好像在吞什么东西……

“啊——啊——啊！”小嗝嗝尖叫道。
无牙把齐格瓦斯蒂卡吐在地板上。
【开...开玩笑啦，】它说。
齐格瓦斯蒂卡火冒三丈。
小嗝嗝小心翼翼地把它放在桌子上，足足有五分钟它什么也不肯说，集中精力抖着翅膀，甩掉无牙的口水。 
【我为无牙感到抱歉，殿下。】小嗝嗝说，他觉得有必要奉承一下。
齐格瓦斯蒂卡的声音冷冰冰的。【要不是我欠你一个人情，你这腿长得像苍鹰一样的男孩，】它啐了一口，【那条龙早就凉透了……】
无牙轻蔑地笑了。【你能...能把我怎么样，小子？把...把无牙挠痒痒挠到死？】【闭嘴，无牙。】小嗝嗝说。【谢谢你能来齐格瓦斯蒂卡。如果我可以这么说的话，你看起来非常非常英俊……你有一双高贵的腿……】
齐格瓦斯蒂卡看起来没那么生气了。它欣赏着自己高贵的双膝。
【还有你的翅膀！那是我见过的最好的！我来解释一下我希望殿下该怎么做……】
小嗝嗝告诉了微型龙他那狡猾却又无比绝望的计划。

微型龙沉默了一会儿。
【那，】它终于说，【真是个糟糕的计划。】【早...早跟你说了。】无牙说。【小...小嗝嗝的计划一向很糟糕……】 
【但你还能活到现在，不是吗？】小嗝嗝反问道。
【还有，】微型龙说，【那实际上是两个忙，而我只能帮你一个。】
【想想那个胖领事会多气……】小嗝嗝恳求道。
微型龙想了想。它抖了抖黑红斑驳的翅膀，小嗝嗝看到它的小脸上露出一丝阴笑。
【好吧，】齐格瓦斯蒂卡说，【我会帮你。但如果计划失败了可别怪我……顺便说一句，小土豆男，你的朋友比你还丑！你从哪里找到这些人的？我一辈子也没见过这么像柠檬鳎鱼的人……”它粗鲁地用一只翅膀指着鱼脚司。
说完，小微型龙自视甚高地扭了一下屁股，飞出了窗户。
“它同意你那疯狂的计划了吗？”卡米卡琪问。
小嗝嗝点点头，努力让自己看起来自信一点，好让每个人都对计划有信心一些。
“问题是，”他说，“我认为在这种天气下，明天的竞技无论如何也举行不了。我从窗户看到了竞技场，那里的水齐膝深——地面太湿太滑，不适合角斗。运气好的话，这场雨会让他们取消整场活动。”

16. THE CUNNING BUT DESPERATE PLAN
Camicazi returned the day before Saturn's day Saturday.
She was not as cheerful as usual. She drooped around the cell, sighing. Even Fishlegs was worried. Camicazi came and sat next to Hiccup beside the barred window.
"Maybe," she said sadly, "maybe you can keep a Bog-Burglar under lock and key. I don't understand it. I'm the MASTER ESCAPER -- no prison can hold me ..."

"The Romans make good prisons," replied Hiccup.
"The only good Roman is a dead Roman," said Camicazi.
Hiccup sighed. "That isn't true. I'm sure there are loads of good Romans. But all the good Romans are probably quietly minding their own business back in Rome. Anyway, Alvin isn't a Roman, he's a Viking just like us."
"Your father really ISN'T going to send a War Party, you know, Hiccup," said Camicazi gently.

Hiccup looked out the window. Camicazi was right. HIS FATHER WASN'T COMING. Maybe he thought that Hiccup wasn't worth it...
"OK," said Hiccup, trying to keep them from despairing. "I think it's time we made another plan."
"I know what we do!" cried Camicazi, drawing her sword with her old swagger back again. "We practice our sword-fighting! We die, yes -- but we die in STYLE!"

"No," said Hiccup.
"But you're a great sword-fighter -- for a boy, of course ..." said Camicazi, disappointed.
"I only sword-fight when there's a point to it," said Hiccup. "No, this is the plan. I have this dragon called Ziggerastica who owes me a favor ..."
"OOOooh, Ziggerastica -- he sounds scary," said Camicazi. "Do you think he can help us?"
"I don't know," Hiccup admitted.

Hiccup felt a bit silly shouting to someone who wasn't in the room, but he did so nonetheless, calling "ZIGGERASTICA!" three times at the top of his voice.
"How is this dragon going to get IN here, when we can't get OUT?" asked Camicazi. "You'll see," said Hiccup. Nothing happened for about three hours. Hiccup wasn't really expecting this plan to work, in his heart of hearts -- he was just trying to cheer Camicazi up. But then there was a faint rustling noise, and the tiny black and red dragon squeezed through the double bars and fluttered around the room.

"Don't tell me," said Camicazi, "Please don't tell me that THIS is the dragon who owes you the favor ..."
"Yup," said Hiccup in astonishment. "That's definitely him.
How amazing that he came when I called!"
"This dragon," said Fishlegs "is even smaller than Toothless -- that's really going to help us, isn't it? The entire Roman Army is going to be shivering in its shoes when it sets eyes on a dragon the size of a bumblebee. How can a dragon not much larger than a beetle help us fight a whole Roman Legion?"

"What were you expecting?" asked Hiccup. "A Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus? Hang on, Toothless... what are you doing?"
Toothless was stalking Ziggerastica like a cat following a mouse.
"Toothless, STOP!" yelled Hiccup. "You mustn't eat him, he's our only chance of getting out of here alive!"
But Toothless hadn't had the pleasure of hunting for a couple of weeks now. He chased a shrieking Ziggerastica all around the room until he finally trapped him in a corner of the ceiling and closed his jaws around him.

Toothless hovered just out of reach, one cheek bulging, and Ziggerastica's furiously swinging tail trailing out of his mouth.
"SPIT HIM OUT!" howled Hiccup, frantically jumping up and trying to grab Toothless by the tail. "I mean it, Toothless, this is not a game -- our lives depend on that nanodragon!"
Toothless shot him a naughty look and dodged to the other corner of the room.
The others joined in the chase, leaping after Toothless as he swooped from one side of the ceiling to the other, squealing with delight.

Camicazi climbed onto Fishlegs's shoulders, while Hiccup got on a chair and tried to sweep Toothless in her direction with a broom.
Unfortunately, Hiccup missed, and the brush cannoned into Camicazi and Fishlegs, who then knocked over the chair Hiccup was standing on and they all landed in a heap on the floor.
Toothless somersaulted across the ceiling in his glee. He laughed so hard he nearly dropped Ziggerastica. He hadn't had so much fun in ages.

"OK," said Hiccup under his breath to the other two, "I've got a new tactic here ...
"We don't have time for this nonsense," Hiccup said loudly. "Just ignore Toothless and everybody gather round me while I tell you our plan ..."
"Oh, I get it," said Fishlegs.
Fishlegs and Camicazi got into a huddle around Hiccup, who started whispering loudly.
Toothless remained on the ceiling, making rude raspberry noises.

Nobody paid him any attention.
Eventually Toothless's curiosity got the better of him, and he flapped down to see if he could hear what was being said -- and Camicazi leaped out of the huddle and grabbed him.
"HA!" said Hiccup triumphantly, looking sternly down on the struggling little dragon. "Now, Toothless, DROP IT."
Toothless crossed his eyes and made a gulping noise with his throat as if he was swallowing ...

"AAAAAAARGH!" screamed Hiccup.
Toothless spat Ziggerastica onto the floor.
"Only j-j-joking," he said.
Ziggerastica was FURIOUS.
Hiccup put him carefully on the table and for five minutes he refused to say anything at all, concentrating on shaking out his wings and removing Toothless's saliva.
"I am SO sorry about Toothless, Your Highness," said Hiccup, thinking that a little flattery might be necessary.

Ziggerastica's voice was icy. "If I didn't owe you a favor O-Boy-With-Legs-Like-a-Heron," he spat, "that dragon would be history..."
Toothless laughed scornfully. "What you g-g-gonna do, tough guy? T-t-tickle Toothless to d-d-death?" "Shut up, Toothless," said Hiccup. "Thank you for coming Ziggerastica. And for looking so very, VERY handsome as well, if I may say so ...You have such kingly legs..."

Ziggerastica looked slightly less cross. He admired his own royal knees with approval.
"And your wings! The finest I have ever seen! I'll explain what I would like Your Highness to do..."
Hiccup told the nanodragon his cunning but truly desperate plan.
The nanodragon was silent for a moment.
"That," he said at last, "is a truly terrible plan." "T-t-told you," said Toothless. "H-h-hiccup's plans are always terrible..."

"You're still alive, aren't you?" retorted Hiccup.
"Also," said the nanodragon, "that is actually two favors, and I have offered you only one."
"Think how cross the Fat Consul will be ..." pleaded Hiccup.
The nanodragon thought about that. He shook out his black and red spotty wings, and Hiccup began to see the suggestion of a smile on his tiny face.
"Ok," said Ziggerastica, "I'll do it. But don't blame me if it fails...By the way, O-Boy-With-a-Small-Potato, your friends are even uglier than you are! Where did you find these people? Never in my life have I seen anybody who looks so much like a lemon sole..." He pointed rudely at Fishlegs with one wing.

And with that the little nanodragon gave a self- important wriggle of his behind and flew out the window.
"Did he agree to carry out your plan?" asked Camicazi.
Hiccup nodded, trying to look confident to keep everybody's hopes up.
"The thing is," he said, "I don't think in this kind of weather they'll be able to hold those Games tomorrow anyway. I've seen the arena from the window, and it's knee-deep in water -- the ground is far too wet and slippy for gladiatorial combat. With any luck the rain will make them cancel the whole thing."