《抑郁症的生活》

抑郁症的情绪悄悄向你袭来.
Depression creeps upon you quitely.
起初，你只是被一些琐碎的杂事所困扰.
At the very beginning , you struggle with the little things.
但是你选择忽略它们.
But you usually choose to ignore them.
就像是头疼.
It's like a headache.
你告诉自己这只是暂时的，一切都会过去的.
You'll tell yourself it's temporary and it'll pass.
这只不过又是糟糕的一天罢了.
It's just another bad day.
但是实则不然，你被困在了这种情绪之中.
But it's not , you're stuck in this state of mind.
你习惯性地戴上社交面具.
You get used to putting on a social mask.
你继续假装什么也没发生.
And you continue to live among other people.
因为你不得不这么做.
Because that's what you have to do.
换做是其他人也会这么做.
That's what others do.
然而，困扰却没有消失.
However , the problem does not go away.
你挣扎着每天自导自演，假装自己没事儿.
You struggle to put on a play every day.
但是却越来越严重.
And it starts to cost you more and more.
这就是为什么你在抑郁的情绪中越陷越深.
That is why you fall even deeper.
这时候，你开始疏远你的家人和朋友.
And that's when you slowly start to back away from friends and family.
有的时候甚至完全不与他们沟通.
Sometimes completely shutting them out.
满足感消失殆尽.
All satisfaction is gone.
曾经的小确幸变得一文不值.
The little things that used to bring you joy are now worthless.
甚至连完成最简单的任务也变得痛苦不堪.
Even the simplest task become painful.
这就是为什么你缺少动力.
That is why you lack motivation now.
如果这一切无论如何都不能使你嘴角上扬，那你又为何苦苦坚持呢？
Why would you keep on trying if nothing makes you happy anyway.
这一切只会让你愈加痛苦.
All of this makes you feel even worse.
糟糕的情绪使你进入恶性循环.
And you get caught up in vicious circle.
突然间，你发觉自己的生活进入了慢镜头.
Suddenly , you find yourself living in slow motion.
你感觉度日如年.
Days become indistinguishable.
房间里充斥着电视的白噪声，沉重感无以复加.
Just white noise , just…heaviness.
它占据了你思想的全部，撕裂着你的身体.
Filling your mind and spilling over your body.
你感觉好像自己再也不会开心起来了.
You feel as though you'll never be happy again.
于是你开始却步、后退，亲手毁掉自己与他人的情感关系.
You continue to back away and destroy relationships.
你对自己做过的以及没做过的一切感到羞耻.
You're ashamed for everything you've done and everything you haven't.
这时，你身体里有一个小精灵想要摆正你的观念.
There is a part of you that wants to make things right.
突如其来的正能量鼓励你走出家门，见见朋友.
A sudden positive upsurge makes you want to go out and meet people.
但是这些想法大多是短暂的，因为你知道终究是没用的.
But…it's all very short–lived because you know It's won't work anyway.
那些让你朋友欣喜若狂的事你却不关心.
Things that make you friends excited leave you indifferent.
渐渐地，你觉得你和朋友之间产生了巨大的代沟.
And you become aware of the huge gap that lies between you.
失败并不是一个选择.
Another failure is not and option.
所以舒适圈成为了你最终的桎梏.
So in the end , you choose to be alone in your comfort zone.
因为在那里没有人会向你发问.
Where no one asks any questions.
你再也无法忍受那少得可怜的自尊，以及没有目标的生活.
The low self esteem and the lack of purpose become unbearable.
最终，你意识到自己毫无退路，只有两个选择：
You finally realize you can't go on that way and two things can happen.
要么寻求他人的帮助.
You either decide to get some help.
要么…自杀.
Or you…might attempt a suicide.
转载自网易云视频转载自网易云视频转载自网易云视频